"I've Got Nothing"

So, as you may (or probably may not) know, I'm a follower of several UK Tubers. And the big word in UK when it comes to YouTube right now is ChartJackers.

ChartJackers is a project involving a group of very talented and very popular UK YouTubers to help raise funds for BBC's Children In Need. Their aim is to jack the music charts and get their single to number one. (Note: I'm about two months late letting you know about this, but you can still help.) They're little adventure has been followed every week by BBCSwitch.

Their single and music video has been completed with the help of their subscribers. It's a brilliantly cheesey pop song and the video includes clips sent by fellow YouTubers. [Watch Here]
The song is now available on iTunes and iTunes only. Every dollar made from people buying the song will be going to Children In Need. I believe the song is only available in the UK right now, but that's temporary. Personally, I'm addicted to the song and would totally download it for free but my conscience would eat me alive.

If you are in a situation that prevents you from buying the song (like myself), you can still help. You can spread the word in your blog, on Facebook, on your Vlog, etc. Or you can print this flyer and post it around your school/workplace.

As a little bonus, if 3,000 comment on this video they will each do a dare this week. That should be fun to watch.

Just so you know...

[Warning: Rambling and Ranting are sure to follow]

So I've pretty much gotten used to the idea of being stereotyped no matter where I go.

In Jamaica, I'm the "brown" chick who listens to white people music and avoids dancehall whenever possible.

In America, I'm a black girl who listens to white people music and has way too many white friends.

In the Internet, I'm the Jamaican who likes jerk chicken, ginger beer, calypso music and limbo....wut.

Stereotypes seriously don't bother me as much as they used to. Because I do listen to "white" music and I can't stand dancehall. I love jerk chicken and yes most of my American friends are white (huge surprise, I lived in South Florida...so mostly white Cubans...), but just so you know, ginger beer, calypso and limbo are two of the least accurate stereotypes I've gotten yet.

I hate ginger beer. I can't speak for all Jamaicans here. A lot of people love it. I just hate ginger in general. It's like mint only disgusting.

Calypso? French music brought to Trinidad played mostly at their Carnival celebrations...oh yeah, so Jamaican. The music that we Jamaicans listen to at carnival is called 'Soca'. It's closely related to calypso and also originated in Trinidad...only it's not as annoying...While I'm on that note, I've always noticed that most people who imitate Jamaican accents end up with something that sounds vaguely Trinidadian or Bajan, with the exception of "Futurama"'s Hermes who sounds vaguely African. Goo'jahb.


Limbo is something that most Jamaicans just do not do anymore. It's tired and old. As a matter of fact, the only people in Jamaica who limbo anymore are 6-year-olds who watch more American television than probably necessary and the kind of tourists who spend their time in "Touristville" (aka. Montego Bay and Negril) and never step foot in Kingston where civilazation is. I mean the only reason the hotels put on events like limbo contests and shit is because they think that's what you want to see. It is not an accurate depiction of "real" Jamaica. (Neither is 'Shotta's'. Jamaica isn't always violent.)

If you want semi-accurate stereotypes, please stick with the Rastas, weed and dominoes. It's still wrong but it's closer than freaking calypso. >.>

Double Controversy

I feel terrible for not writing a post with any real depth for a while now. Most of them just update you on my social/home status...that's what twitter is for. But the truth is, there is not much to talk about.

So I started looking and I found that two movies for 2010 that are dealing with some controversy. Both are something that everyone can dig into, because everyone has something to say when it comes to the touchy subject of race.

The first is the controversial issue of the casting of 'The Last Airbender', an action film based off of a Nickelodeon animated television show named 'Avatar: The Last Airbender'. It's known to be the first of three movies in the 'Avatar' series and uses the storyline of the first season as its inspiration.
Personally, I think making 'Avatar' into a movie is a dumb idea. Apparently, Hollywood has learnt nothing from the reactions of the people to the 'Speed Racer' and 'Dragon Ball' movies. There are quite a few reasons why those movies sucked.

1.- They were based off of Japanese animations and produced in America.
-That's fine for Avatar, I guess, because the animation was created and produced in the US.

2.- The direction and costuming was shit (the first in the case of Speed Racer, both in the case of Dragon Ball).
- Avatar may not have that problem. I love the work of M. Night Shamaylan, who happens to be the director for this movie. And based on pictures and the teaser trailer, I'd say that the costuming shows a lot of promise.

3.- The casting was racist. Simple. The characters were Asian, created by Asian people for Asian people. The protagonists and majority of the casts for both movies were white.
- >.> Same thing here. The fictional world that the characters of Avatar live in is clearly based on Asian culture. The creators have said so themselves. So why is over 95% of the cast white?

Argument against the racism

Several people have arguments for this casting. The link posted above shows nearly argument and then shows just why it's wrong. I'll supply you with a few quotes:

-"But all of the nations are fictional, therefore the characters can be any race.

Yes, but the default physical appearance for all heroes in live-action fantasy worlds should not be Anglo-Saxon, western European facial features and coloring. Fantasy does not equal Caucasian people only.

The characters in The Last Airbender SHOULD be diverse, but they’re not. The casting calls have ensured that both the Water Tribe and the Air Nomads will be white."

-"Didn’t they pick the best actors for the roles?

No, they did not. By writing “Caucasian or any other ethnicity” on the casting sides, the production made their preference for Caucasian actors clear form the beginning.
Normally when ethnicity is left open-ended, casting sides read “Any Ethnicity.”
THE LAST AIRBENDER labeled non-Caucasian kids as ‘Others.’
One of the casting side for extras reads “All Ethnicities”. See the difference?

Hollywood has a history of reserving lead protagonists roles for white actors. According to the research done by the Geena Davis Institute: 85.5% of the characters in G-rated films are white, 4.8% are black, and 9.7% are from “other” ethnicities. No differences emerged by character gender.

This is a powerful statistic that shows just how much Hollywood has insured that children grow up believe Caucasian is the norm, while other races fall into the sidekick, extras or villain categories. The Last Airbender is proving to be no different."

-"Many of the voice actors weren’t Asian or Inuit. If that wasn’t wrong, why is casting white actors in the live-action such a big deal?

You underestimate the power of visual cues. Visually, a cartoon is very different from a live-action movie – the former is less tangible than the latter. A grown woman can be the voice actor for Bart Simpson, because no one sees her. But if The Simpsons was ever made into a live-action movie, they wouldn’t cast the voice actor, they would cast a boy.

See the difference?"

If you want to read further, I suggest taking a look at the website. They have a lot more to say on the subject.

The next movie I want to point out is actually releasing on December 11th of this year, so my previous statement about it being 2 2010 movies is inaccurate, but I can't bother to change that. The movie is titled "The Princess and the Frog". It is produced by Disney and will be the introduction of the first ever African-American Disney Princess, Tiana.

That's right. She's black. And no, that's not the controversy. People are riled up because of a few other things in this movie. The first is this:

Something look a bit off to you? That's because the prince is white. The stills show him quite a bit darker than promotional imagery. Now, many people think that because the princess is black, it would've made sense to introduce a black prince alongside her. The question most people have on their minds is "Was this an attempt at reflecting the great melting pot that has become America, or is it simply a matter of representing- whether consciously or unconsciously- the idea that a relationship between two black people is simply not strong enough to last?" Supposedly, the character is actually from a fictional "Spanish" country and he is being voiced by a Brazilian actor. But, he looks more white than anything else in photos released by Disney. Personally, I'm not making a big issue of it because Disney has made a LOT of changes to this movie because of the amount of controversy surrounding it.

SIUcommunity on the white prince

Why did Disney have to edit their original story? It’s best that I point these things out and either leave them for you to research, or expand on this later.

-The princess was announced with the name 'Maddy' and her occupation was a housemaid.

-The movie was originally titled "The Frog Princess", which also received some bad reviews.

-The main character is a black girl placed in pre-Civil rights New Orleans

-Her features are stereotypically black.

-Disney’s first black Princess is a frog for most of the movie.

From what I can see, Disney has corrected the first two. I don’t really think Tiana looks stereotypically black. Sure, she has big hips and lips. But has anyone taken a good look at Megara or even Esmarelda? True, neither were princesses, but it’s a known fact that Disney perpetuates a specific image of beauty when it comes to women. Does anyone remember what the girls in Lilo and Stitch looked like? I’m just saying, it has nothing to do with her being black.

But it’s like I always say. Decide for yourself whether these movies have intentionally racist imagery.

..My Secret

Remember that list I posted  a good while back? The random list...Yeah, that one. It mentioned that I had a solitary secret that I don't really intend on telling anyone. I don't know why it's a secret. I'm not embarrassed or anything. I just hate getting hassled over crap, right? 

Here it goes...(wait for it...)... My real ambition in life is to be a mother. To have a happy family. 

Don't get me wrong, I have a list of things I want to do before I die. (Write a book, write/direct a movie, have a highly-rated web show,  join a trock band XD) The main thing I want from life is a loving family that I feel I can support full-heartedly without feeling like I don't have the time to spend with them. Kids go through their phases when it comes to careers, but this is something I've always wanted.

So there you have it. I'm out of the baby food aisle (geddit, haha). 

(++ "Alternatively" is going through a whole plot makeover, with the help of my best friend/soul sister Aisha)

Moving, Sickness and Updates

-How is it that in my list of stuff I hate, I forgot to mention moving? Moving from one home to another never stops sucking. I mean, it can be easier or harder depending on how much you like a place. I won't argue that. All I'm saying is it always bites leaving a place behind even if you didn't like it too much to begin with. Yes, I'm moving again. I'll be out of here by the beginning of June. This time around, I didn't go home-hunting with the family. There were two reasons for this. The first was that I simply did want the blood on my hands. The second is that I trust my family to find a home I can be comfortable in.

-If you were wondering how that whole school thing was going, the term ended with a final critique while I was rolling over in my bed with a headache, bad cough and fever. Go me. I was pretty much stuck at home for three weeks and at the end of it all, the doctor tells me (wait for it...) I had the sniffles. >.>Really bad ones too. He says spring brings pollen and dust. Mum says "Tell her to stop sleeping with the cats." So now Tippy and Felix sleep on the couch...most of the time.

-I've signed myself up with Avon, which is pretty rad. I didn't do so well on my first campaign, but that probably had something to do with the fact that I signed in a bit late...I only had one brochure and no business cards. At least I got my name out there, right?

-I have not abandoned "Alternatively"! I know it probably seems like I have because I haven't posted in forever, but it's quite a challenge trying to give a ton of characters different writing styles when you have virtually no formal experience with storytelling. I'll get it right eventually...

(++) Allison didn't win? SO not awesome.

At 4:00...

Certain people should be asleep. Guess who missed school this week thanks to her brother's stomach virus! Me! Cause I don't really talk about anyone else here...does that make me vain? No, I just don't want my family getting stalked. That's what Facebook is for!

Anyway, I'm bored and have decided to waste your time. It's time for Single Servings!

• Purple
• Zombo
• Christmas?
• Not Facebook
• The End of the Internet
  

WARNING: These sites will annoy you and make you want to throw a book at me. Enter at your own risk.

If you clicked on all of those, I have to give you kudos because after the first two I would've stopped.

Q: Why is Nikii awake at 4 in the morning?
A: a) She simply can't sleep.
b) She did a paper and couldn't leave Facebook.
c) She just finished watching Slumdog Millionare with her brother.
d) Her cat bit her face when she tried to sleep.

I'll let you decide. And no, you won't win any rupees.

Edit: You guys do know I have a poll at the bottom, right?

*bonk* Oh noes!

I have a problem.
I'm bored with fashion design. I seriously need to stop that. But it's true. I want to write now. or do some more of this:
Isn't it lovely? ....I wonder if saying that makes me big-headed...I hate quickly I become bored with things that I enjoy. Part of me still wants to do toy design. And if someone were to offer me the tools to do a repaint right now, I would. I can't say the same for fashion design. The semester is ending in a few weeks, and I'll stick it out for now. But the question is, will I return?

Things that I have dropped:
-Ballet (age 3-6)
-Soccer/Football (2 months when I was like 9)
-Karate(Actually, I dropped this because I was injured...)
-Music school (*sigh* Maybe I'll go back....)
-The majority of the stories I start (writer's block)
-The baby! Oh dear!
-Practicing vector portraits
-JJT...twice...

It's called YOUTube. Remember that.

This is serius bizness. You have been warned.


So recently, I've found myself informed of a problem in evolution on YouTube. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who's noticed how strange all of this changing of the website has been.

[Informative video plug]

Yes, I realised that hulu.com now has its own channel on YouTube. I didnt mind because I currently cannot access hulu thanks to my location. I also cannot watch a massive amount of music videos because I live in Jamaica. This is not gangsta.

Now maybe this is just life. Just business. But all in all, I don't think that's okay. I don't think it's okay to hand cash over to a dj so that you can keep the smaller artists down. And I don't think it's okay for Disney to buy out so many peopl's form of free speech. It's enough to make me consider moving my blog to livejournal because Google owns Blogspot as well as YouTube. Maybe it's just in me to revolt against unfair practise, but I'm planning on doing what I can to fight the apparent reality of this. I will boycott YouTube if necessary.

If you don't know me by now...

I can't stand...
He's just not that pretty. And his voice is annoying. And he rips off awesome artists from the 80's

I have an obsession with...
She's absolutely breath-taking and in every episode, I find myself wishing I knew her personally.

and...
Loved him in "Skins", loved him even more in "Slumdog"

I recently discovered...
Liam and Minh used their song "Geeks in Love" as a theme song for their collaborative channel.

I want...
I didn't get that many birthday girfts year, but Christmas is coming.

(++) Just a quick one to keep you on track.

The Sex Talk?

I'm putting the linked blog on hold for something I have to get off my chest. I don't know where this is coming from. Maybe my guilty conscience is coming at me after a few years, maybe my mother's being talking to me too much or maybe it's because my 'Skins' addiction has been flaring up. I really can't say. But it seems to me that people don't realise that having sex is like opening a can of worms.
Getting things back into place after your first time isn't easy. Take it from someone who had an unusual and painful experience. And I'm not referring to the sex. I don't even really remember that anymore. I remember it hurt and I tried to convince myself it felt good. That's about it. It was a bad situation overall and there is no sex talk that will prepare you for that. Somebody could have told me my right eye would explode and I would have sacrificed that right eye to make sure "the love of my life" was happy.
But that was a long time ago. And that's not really what I want to talk about. It's the after-effects that count. And I don't know how to describe that feeling. The feeling that something is now missing in you, you're a little bit empty. And as far as you know, sex is the only thing that can substitute the loss of that part of you. Believe me when I say if you're not ready for all of it, then you can't handle any of it. Sex complicates things. One person may cling while the other drifts or both may end up more attached than necessary and in a stable relationship, this can work but it's something that has to be observed carefully.

You may be ready one day but when the very complicated feelings pile on, there is no one who can really pull you through but you. In my opinion, there is no such thing as "uncomplicated sex". Something will always complicate it. Always.

I'm the last person who would go around preaching abstinence to a room to a room full of teenagers. It would make me a hypocrite (I'm not sexually active now, but I have a complicated past) and a liar, because I wouldn't believe what I am standing up there and saying.

"Sex is like Pringles- once you pop, the fun don't stop." Me, joking with my friend (2007-ish?)

And in other news....

-Bindhi is a Felix! We did a double check and found the truth. Whoopsie!

-I've decided to get a tattoo. Not right now. Sometime in the future. I don't know when. I had a friend design one for me. (He actually has designed quite a few...on my arms...with a Sharpie.) It's a black cat with a stylized 'N' next to it. Quite gorgeous, actually. I'll upload a pic of it sometime...I also want an industrial piercing (Google it)

-To be honest, I started this out wanting to rant. I wanted to rant about how people need to learn to accept others despite their religion. It's one of the few forms of real prejudice still left everywhere. There really is no place in the world safe from it. Not even my house. My family (except my step-person...I don't know what to call him yet....) is Catholic. Less Catholic than we used to be, mind you. But I'm still forced to go to mass every Sunday. Did I mention I was 18? It doesn't matter that I don't believe in Christ (for reasons mentioned in previous entries), I still go. It pisses me off.

-I think I might fo to F.I.T. when I'm done here. I know, "Nicky? In New York? Doing Fashion Design? Noooo" Yes. I hear they do I toy design program. Who knows, maybe I'll be the next Jason Wu.

Teaser: I'm thinking that my next post has to be when I have time because each word/phrase is gonna be linked.

Tippy and The Baby

I woke up to the sound of very loud yowling this morning. I figured it was Tippy, complaining about the lack of food in his plate.

"Nicky, come and see what Uncle Xavier has here!"

It took a while to figure out what it was. Dripping wet and rather scraggly, the jet black tiny thing had pointy ears and big eyes. A proper look told me it was a kitten, not a puppy. Another kitten! He found her in one of those manhole sewers and washed it clean. After checking, we discovered that she's a girl. We dried her off and fed her, at which point Tippy got very curious. He stuck his face in her plate and ate from her food to prove that it's his home.

He's spent the morning jumping and playing with her even though all she really wants is to sleep. I hide to had her between the cushions on the couch so that she could have some peace. I've named her Bindhi, which I think suits her very well. She's just as small as he was when we found him. About a week (maybe two) old.

A New Age

Eighteen.

So yesterday, I was thinking of posting a two-part blog of events. "My last Day as a Minor, My first day as a Legal Adult" But to tell the truth 18 doesn't change you. Growth is a learning experience. I'm not magically an adult just because I can legally get away with things I couldn't before.

Anyway, the day's been good so far (It's only 8 am) and hopefully it'll stay that way. I woke up at the following hours because of the following people:

-1:00 am, Zahra (my baby sister): "Happy Birthday Nikii! Like, omg, you're so ooollld"
-2:00 am, Jordan (my boy bestie): This conversation lasted for an hour, and most of it was just chatting.
-6:30 am, Tedi(my bestie): She sent me a text wishing me a Happy Birthday and telling me she hoped the day was Wicked (yea, I got the pun, T)

I tried to sleep for five minutes but was woken up by my step-dad(ish) and my mum(who proceeded to give me an inspirational monologue about how much I've grown).

In checking my Facebook, I found myself bombarded with Happy Birthday messages. And the day's not even over.

So overall, it's been a good morning. I have a feeling it'll only get better.

Admittedly Short Post

Just wanted to inform everyone that I've started a story through livejournal. It's entirely experimental and may end up not being finished when I turn back to my (not online) series. The working title for the story is "Alternatively" and will follow a teenager's journey as she slowly discovers her alternate personalities.

Please check it out.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (also known as Multiple Personality Disorder) is a real disease that often affects children and teenage victims of abuse.

(++) If anyone has a link to a movie, article, or documentary that will give an interesting first person view of DID/MPD, it would be much appreciated.

Things I Hate

-That ringing noise you hear when a surge protector is turned on
-Hypocrisy
-People who hurt children
-People who hurt animals
-Misrepresentation of an illness in the media
-Ignorance
-People who intentionally remain ignorant for the sake of proving a point
-Racism
-The fact that organizations like the Klu Klux Klan still exist
-Papaya
-The Dragon Ball Evolution trailer

Talking To My Past

So littleradge uploaded this video a couple weeks back (that I only just watched) expressing ten things he would tell his younger self if given the chance. Unfortunately, I have no camera. (BOO) So I'm gonna write 'em here. (YAY!)
NOTE: The ten things written here are different from the ten written as a comment on littleradge's video. (I'm writing to 8-year-old Nicky)

1. Start watching old Doctor Who episodes because when the new show starts you will be slightly confused.

2. Stop eating all that junk food crap. In ten years, it will matter.

3. You know those kids who won't really hang out with you too much because you look different and those guys who never seem to get crushes on you because you're darker than them? They're not gonna mean much to you in ten years. Never mind it.

4. You know that money Mum started saving as "spending money"? Do not spend it on a PSP. You're only gonna end up trading that for an iPod which will get stolen. Buy a CAMERA.

5. Forget about "Casper meets Wendy". Hilary Duff is gonna suck after Lizzie McGuire.

6. Boys don't drool. Hang out with them because in a couple years, girls are gonna feel all superior because they think they've started puberty and they don't even realise that you got your period this summer (at 10) and they get all bitchy. Seriously.

7. Don't feel discouraged because your dad isn't around. He does try.

8. You have a knack for drawing and writing. Stick to those because in a few years it'll get really confusing.

9. You know how moving around always gets you really depressed and p'o'd? Get used to it. It still hasn't stopped.

10. Buy more shoes. I promise you won't grow out of them until you're at least 15.

If you liked that feel free to post your own or y'know comment.

Family Additions

Three main things to talk about now.

1. Grandma is back home. My grandmother has been living with my mum's sister in Florida for the past few months (since about September) and she's been having some financial issue's thanks to America's recession. She decided that because she had so many things to take care of in Jamaica that she should back into the country and get things done. It feels great having her back. My grandmother is the one person in the family that I feel I can go to about my problems 24/7. She's never too busy to lend an ear and a helping hand. I love her so dearly and was having a rough time dealing with my mother when she wasn't around.

2. Today was Uncle Xavier's birthday. (Uncle Xavier is my mum's boyfriend/fiance who we happen to live with) We sat at the dinner table, had an Italian dinner and a half-melted coconut, cream cheese and vanilla cake with strawbrry and whipped cream icing. It was pretty cool.

3. Tippy! Tippy is out new ginger kitten. He's maybe about a month old and is the cutest thing ever. We call him Tippy because he walks on his toes and rather than running, he leaps from one place to another. I'm glad that we adopted him because I work better when I have someone to take care of (besides myself) and those damn fish(es?) are not worth waking up for.

(++) I've also been watching the third season of Skins through YouTube. I'm already in love with Freddie and Emily.

Happy 2009!! And everything that comes with it.

First let me start out by wishing everyone (ie, the two people who actually read this thing) a Happy New Year!(I know January is half over, so sue me) 2009, woo! I'm gonna be 18 in two months. It feels weird to say. Your whole life as a kid, you sit down wishing you could reach that coveted age and break free with no strings attached. How wrong was I? I'm still going to be living with my mother and her boyfriend (and my brother) and still obeying their rules. I'm still going to have a curfew. I'm still going to rely on them for 85% of ...everything. God, 7 years ago I thought I'd be on my way to Julliard by now. Look at me. I'm barely getting by where I am as it is.

That reminds me, I'm at Art School now. (Still at Edna Manley College) I'm doing a course in Fashion Design, which consists of three classes: Collection Development, Fashion Illustration, Clothing Construction. It's not bad, I love the drawing and collection...I hate the sewing. But I guess I better learn to love it soon. My goal is to pass my classes this year. I want to leave behind some kind of success in my life. I don't want my kids to look back and see me as a deadbeat with no ambition. I mean I may not have a clear vision of my life but, I know I don't wanna waste it.

Speaking of dying-because it's such a happy subject-(how you liking my segues?) I was watching an episode of Scrubs online tonight. Yes, I have to catch up with the new season online, I'm so terrible. Whatever. "My Last Words" I don't know what they'll be, but if it were tonight, I think I'd let my last words be, "I'm doing better."

Funeral Playlist:
-"Leave Out All The Rest", Linkin Park
-"I Will Follow You Into The Dark", Death Cab for Cutie
-"When You're Gone", The Cranberries
-"Turn,Turn,Turn", The Byrds
-"Time After Time", Cyndi Lauper
-"The Prayer", Charlotte Church(with Josh Groban)
-"Hey Jude", The Beatles
-"Only Time", Enya
-"Somewhere Over the Rainbow", Israel Kamakawiwo
-"The Resolution", Jack's Mannequin
-"In The Sun", Joseph Arthur
-"Time To Say Goodbye", Sarah Brightman
-"Everybody Hurts", REM
-"Bohemian Rhapsody", Queen

What would happen if I died tomorrow?