Two Parts: Jamaica Land We Love

RANTING

I take YouTube seriously. But I don't have a proper camera right now. And all the ideas that my friends and I had about all sorts of cool videos that show Jamaica in a better light have been put on hold. For once, I'm not even thinking of shallow YouTube fame. There are millions of vloggers and comedians on YT that never get noticed. So it's not about that. I'm just so very tired of seeing the negative light that is shining over Jamaica all over the media. YouTube is filled with idiotic high school boys who, though they may be bright, tend to act like well...boys. They post retarded videos of them pretending to fight one another, "hitting" each other with chairs, cussing and throwing things. All the while, they wear their uniforms. It LOOKS BAD.

Let me say something to all those who watch these videos and having never been to, lived in, or been educated in Jamaica, don't know the intellectual capacity of the average Jamaican: It's rather simple. Most Jamaicans are bright. And capable of so much more than childish behaviour and play fighting. You see those boys who are throwing chairs at each other? Most of them are probably going to get extremely high marks on an examination that most Americans couldn't pass without college-level preparation before they turn 18. Most of them have the ability to gain an edge over you in the working world because American employers know that Jamaican schools push their students. We don't excel because we have a backbone and spoon-feeder in our teachers. We excel because the majority of them don't do shit. And we have to rely on ourselves to get into Ivy League colleges. You call these people ignorant, poor and ugly. Potheads, rastas, ghetto yutes, etc. It doesn't matter. We push even harder.

And to all Jamaicans who have lost your self-respect and somehow feel that this is the necessary way to get attention: STOP IT! Bugger off. STFU! Because you make us look bad. Jamaica itself gives so much way for comedy and art and eediat pickney wah step up and call demself star cau' dem tro a bokkle affa anedda yute. Dat mek sense? Stooooop. Gawd.

JAMteenz [that's the name my peeps and I came up with] was formed to help give Jamaican teens a chance to express themselves without being completely foolish. It's about comedy, art, dance and politics. And its coming whenever we get a camera....
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CUZ MI a JAMAICAN!!

[Based off of the "Cause I am..." series on YouTube.]
Any recreation or publication of this blog must be requested by the publisher to the creator,Nikii G(c), or I swear I will hunt you down. Blogspot has a date stamp. It should also be noted that this was written for the sake of satire. I have nothing against Jamaicans, black people, rastafarians, white people, teenage mothers or Bob Marley's libido. Thank You.

So there've been a lot of stereotypes about Jamaicans running around and I just want to make sure you've got them all perfect.

I know all of Bob Marley's illegitimate children.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I live in a house made of zinc.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I got pregnant five times before I turned twelve.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I cannot speak proper English.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

"Ah tauk laik dis oll di taim, mon"
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I'm black.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I'm rastafarian.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I own a donkey
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I can beat an Olympic world record without even trying.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I've never seen a white person before.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.