..My Secret

Remember that list I posted  a good while back? The random list...Yeah, that one. It mentioned that I had a solitary secret that I don't really intend on telling anyone. I don't know why it's a secret. I'm not embarrassed or anything. I just hate getting hassled over crap, right? 

Here it goes...(wait for it...)... My real ambition in life is to be a mother. To have a happy family. 

Don't get me wrong, I have a list of things I want to do before I die. (Write a book, write/direct a movie, have a highly-rated web show,  join a trock band XD) The main thing I want from life is a loving family that I feel I can support full-heartedly without feeling like I don't have the time to spend with them. Kids go through their phases when it comes to careers, but this is something I've always wanted.

So there you have it. I'm out of the baby food aisle (geddit, haha). 

(++ "Alternatively" is going through a whole plot makeover, with the help of my best friend/soul sister Aisha)

Moving, Sickness and Updates

-How is it that in my list of stuff I hate, I forgot to mention moving? Moving from one home to another never stops sucking. I mean, it can be easier or harder depending on how much you like a place. I won't argue that. All I'm saying is it always bites leaving a place behind even if you didn't like it too much to begin with. Yes, I'm moving again. I'll be out of here by the beginning of June. This time around, I didn't go home-hunting with the family. There were two reasons for this. The first was that I simply did want the blood on my hands. The second is that I trust my family to find a home I can be comfortable in.

-If you were wondering how that whole school thing was going, the term ended with a final critique while I was rolling over in my bed with a headache, bad cough and fever. Go me. I was pretty much stuck at home for three weeks and at the end of it all, the doctor tells me (wait for it...) I had the sniffles. >.>Really bad ones too. He says spring brings pollen and dust. Mum says "Tell her to stop sleeping with the cats." So now Tippy and Felix sleep on the couch...most of the time.

-I've signed myself up with Avon, which is pretty rad. I didn't do so well on my first campaign, but that probably had something to do with the fact that I signed in a bit late...I only had one brochure and no business cards. At least I got my name out there, right?

-I have not abandoned "Alternatively"! I know it probably seems like I have because I haven't posted in forever, but it's quite a challenge trying to give a ton of characters different writing styles when you have virtually no formal experience with storytelling. I'll get it right eventually...

(++) Allison didn't win? SO not awesome.

At 4:00...

Certain people should be asleep. Guess who missed school this week thanks to her brother's stomach virus! Me! Cause I don't really talk about anyone else here...does that make me vain? No, I just don't want my family getting stalked. That's what Facebook is for!

Anyway, I'm bored and have decided to waste your time. It's time for Single Servings!

• Purple
• Zombo
• Christmas?
• Not Facebook
• The End of the Internet
  

WARNING: These sites will annoy you and make you want to throw a book at me. Enter at your own risk.

If you clicked on all of those, I have to give you kudos because after the first two I would've stopped.

Q: Why is Nikii awake at 4 in the morning?
A: a) She simply can't sleep.
b) She did a paper and couldn't leave Facebook.
c) She just finished watching Slumdog Millionare with her brother.
d) Her cat bit her face when she tried to sleep.

I'll let you decide. And no, you won't win any rupees.

Edit: You guys do know I have a poll at the bottom, right?

*bonk* Oh noes!

I have a problem.
I'm bored with fashion design. I seriously need to stop that. But it's true. I want to write now. or do some more of this:
Isn't it lovely? ....I wonder if saying that makes me big-headed...I hate quickly I become bored with things that I enjoy. Part of me still wants to do toy design. And if someone were to offer me the tools to do a repaint right now, I would. I can't say the same for fashion design. The semester is ending in a few weeks, and I'll stick it out for now. But the question is, will I return?

Things that I have dropped:
-Ballet (age 3-6)
-Soccer/Football (2 months when I was like 9)
-Karate(Actually, I dropped this because I was injured...)
-Music school (*sigh* Maybe I'll go back....)
-The majority of the stories I start (writer's block)
-The baby! Oh dear!
-Practicing vector portraits
-JJT...twice...

It's called YOUTube. Remember that.

This is serius bizness. You have been warned.


So recently, I've found myself informed of a problem in evolution on YouTube. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who's noticed how strange all of this changing of the website has been.

[Informative video plug]

Yes, I realised that hulu.com now has its own channel on YouTube. I didnt mind because I currently cannot access hulu thanks to my location. I also cannot watch a massive amount of music videos because I live in Jamaica. This is not gangsta.

Now maybe this is just life. Just business. But all in all, I don't think that's okay. I don't think it's okay to hand cash over to a dj so that you can keep the smaller artists down. And I don't think it's okay for Disney to buy out so many peopl's form of free speech. It's enough to make me consider moving my blog to livejournal because Google owns Blogspot as well as YouTube. Maybe it's just in me to revolt against unfair practise, but I'm planning on doing what I can to fight the apparent reality of this. I will boycott YouTube if necessary.

If you don't know me by now...

I can't stand...
He's just not that pretty. And his voice is annoying. And he rips off awesome artists from the 80's

I have an obsession with...
She's absolutely breath-taking and in every episode, I find myself wishing I knew her personally.

and...
Loved him in "Skins", loved him even more in "Slumdog"

I recently discovered...
Liam and Minh used their song "Geeks in Love" as a theme song for their collaborative channel.

I want...
I didn't get that many birthday girfts year, but Christmas is coming.

(++) Just a quick one to keep you on track.

The Sex Talk?

I'm putting the linked blog on hold for something I have to get off my chest. I don't know where this is coming from. Maybe my guilty conscience is coming at me after a few years, maybe my mother's being talking to me too much or maybe it's because my 'Skins' addiction has been flaring up. I really can't say. But it seems to me that people don't realise that having sex is like opening a can of worms.
Getting things back into place after your first time isn't easy. Take it from someone who had an unusual and painful experience. And I'm not referring to the sex. I don't even really remember that anymore. I remember it hurt and I tried to convince myself it felt good. That's about it. It was a bad situation overall and there is no sex talk that will prepare you for that. Somebody could have told me my right eye would explode and I would have sacrificed that right eye to make sure "the love of my life" was happy.
But that was a long time ago. And that's not really what I want to talk about. It's the after-effects that count. And I don't know how to describe that feeling. The feeling that something is now missing in you, you're a little bit empty. And as far as you know, sex is the only thing that can substitute the loss of that part of you. Believe me when I say if you're not ready for all of it, then you can't handle any of it. Sex complicates things. One person may cling while the other drifts or both may end up more attached than necessary and in a stable relationship, this can work but it's something that has to be observed carefully.

You may be ready one day but when the very complicated feelings pile on, there is no one who can really pull you through but you. In my opinion, there is no such thing as "uncomplicated sex". Something will always complicate it. Always.

I'm the last person who would go around preaching abstinence to a room to a room full of teenagers. It would make me a hypocrite (I'm not sexually active now, but I have a complicated past) and a liar, because I wouldn't believe what I am standing up there and saying.

"Sex is like Pringles- once you pop, the fun don't stop." Me, joking with my friend (2007-ish?)