The Sex Talk?

I'm putting the linked blog on hold for something I have to get off my chest. I don't know where this is coming from. Maybe my guilty conscience is coming at me after a few years, maybe my mother's being talking to me too much or maybe it's because my 'Skins' addiction has been flaring up. I really can't say. But it seems to me that people don't realise that having sex is like opening a can of worms.
Getting things back into place after your first time isn't easy. Take it from someone who had an unusual and painful experience. And I'm not referring to the sex. I don't even really remember that anymore. I remember it hurt and I tried to convince myself it felt good. That's about it. It was a bad situation overall and there is no sex talk that will prepare you for that. Somebody could have told me my right eye would explode and I would have sacrificed that right eye to make sure "the love of my life" was happy.
But that was a long time ago. And that's not really what I want to talk about. It's the after-effects that count. And I don't know how to describe that feeling. The feeling that something is now missing in you, you're a little bit empty. And as far as you know, sex is the only thing that can substitute the loss of that part of you. Believe me when I say if you're not ready for all of it, then you can't handle any of it. Sex complicates things. One person may cling while the other drifts or both may end up more attached than necessary and in a stable relationship, this can work but it's something that has to be observed carefully.

You may be ready one day but when the very complicated feelings pile on, there is no one who can really pull you through but you. In my opinion, there is no such thing as "uncomplicated sex". Something will always complicate it. Always.

I'm the last person who would go around preaching abstinence to a room to a room full of teenagers. It would make me a hypocrite (I'm not sexually active now, but I have a complicated past) and a liar, because I wouldn't believe what I am standing up there and saying.

"Sex is like Pringles- once you pop, the fun don't stop." Me, joking with my friend (2007-ish?)

A few opinions I have:

I promised myself when I started this blog that I would try to break the stereotypes people held over Jamaicans. Well, truth be told, I'm not the average Jamaican. There's no such thing. You have the uptown people, the ghetto youths, the country people and those who are so uptown that they rarely are referred to so often that they'd actually have a broad label. (21 families might suffice.) All I can do is be me, and hope that no one assumes that I'm a genius because Jamaicans could never think the way I do. (If you have another reason for thinking that, though, it's all good.)

So here's what I think about a few random things.

Politics: I don't think about politics. I'm an anarchist at heart, being the kind of person I am. Everyone has a right to make their own choices without the fear of being punished by another human being. So, I don't really think about politics. But, I do think about things that can affect politics.

Religion: Huh, I don't really believe in this either. I believe in being spiritual and peaceful. Mohammed, Buddha, Jesus, Ghandi, Abraham, they all had the same message to spread. It was about respect, love, tolerance and patience. Peace. So why is it that in so many religions (and sectors of religion) in so many countries across the Earth, people are being taught that another religion is "evil" or "wrong"? They all have the same thing to say, they just speak a different language. My God is no different than the Judao-Christian God, or Allah, or Brahman or any other religion's god(s), people only call them by a different name and choose to seperate them according to their duty in life.

Sex: Yes, please! I'm joking. Truth be told, I'm a bit old-fashioned when it comes to sex. In most cases, I would probably say "Do it with the one you love." But in this day and age, those who save it are few and far between. So here's my policy: If anything were to go wrong and I were to get pregnant, I want a father in my child's life. I'm not going abort that small but real life inside me. So I will not have sex with someone that I cannot trust to support my child emotionally, if nothing else. And god forbid, he gives me a disease. I want him to be someone I can take to the doctor and get tested with before going unsafe (if we chose to be one-on-one). In short, if not the one you love, do it with the one you trust.

Conspiracy Theories: Are probably usually right. I'm not even joking. Is it so inconceivable that those in charge would hide important and disturbing information from the public? Must of us have parents who do it. They don't want to let us know the extent to which things have gone wrong because it will frighten us. Imagine that panic times, I dunno, 10 billion? Yea I'd keep shit secret too.

2012 is The End: I think there are a lot of reasons why it could be. Between Biblical and Mayan prophecies and science itself, factor in conspiracies that include jumprooms and crop circles, why the hell not? Because I'm too stubborn to believe that it could happen in my lifetime? Uh-uh. I'm not atheist. My mind (soul, spirit, etc.) will move on after I pass. So I'm not afraid of the end, because I know it won't really be.

A paraphrase from 'Contact':
If one city in one country on one planet in one solar system in every galaxy had a small population, that would still be millions of people. If they didn't, well that would be an awful waste of space.