Musings of a Changing Mind

Updates: July 2011

2011-07-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

Busy busy busy busy

I'm always working.

The last post I had here (last month) is a link to what I've been working on. I'm the video editor for Ricketts Productions' "HARD TARGET", a television show about preventative crime. The show keeps me working all the time.

Updates:

-I've decided to make Alternatively a full-length novel, which means it will no longer be in vlog form. The LiveJournal will be taken down.

-I'm not running with my "Correcting Twilight" idea again. Why? It's a waste of time, been done before, I'm busy, etc.

-I am currently working on a graphic novel. As it develops I will post updates on a new blog. Not sure when I'll create that one though.

In the meantime, watch out for my lengthy posts on random topics that come to mind.

Hard Target Facebook Link

2011-06-28T12:36:00.001-07:00

Yeah, I'm a Tumblr

2011-05-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

Due to the fact that I'm usually pretty busy and don't have time to think of a great topic to discuss here, much less wax philosophical on it, I've created a tumblr. Feel free to ask questions there, or comment on my mini-uploads.

Clickity

Enjoy

Shameless Self-Promotion (Quick Update)

2011-03-26T20:04:00.001-07:00

Sorry that my first post of the year the is so late into the new year (after my 20th birthday, even). Stuff's been going on for me. Some of which I'm going to use this blog to mention in hopes that I can get an inch of publicity here.

First things first, you guys may or may not know that I am a certified makeup artist. I get jobs here and there (when I'm not working full-time), but I've got something planned that takes the cake: Bacchanal Jamaica 2011. Girls love having hugely dramatic looks for carnival and that I can achieve. I need as much help as I can get with putting my name out there so please like my makeup page and pass it on to your friends.

I also make miniature food jewelry now. There's more to it than what's been added to the page. I just need to photograph them. I also need to set up my Etsy shop so people can buy my stuff online.

This was just a quick update to let everyone know what's up with me right now. This is why I've been disappearing. This and my job. I'm coming back later this month or some time in April for the first official re-boot post.

A Much Needed Re-Vamp AND Race-Specific Roles

2010-11-08T20:32:00.000-08:00

First things first, blogspot is acting up shit so it may take a while before this blog looks vaguely functional again.

I haven't been here for months because I have a life now and things (important things) have gotten in the way. I am still working on projects that were mentioned here previously (The Twilight thing, Alternatively), but going a different way about both. "Twilight" will be completed in full before I post each chapter here month by month. Alternatively is being completely re-written as a novel that may take me years to finish.

In other news, I've had a long year. A very long and meaningful self-searching type of year. And I've discovered that I really don't like most of this blog anymore. I want to change it. This blog has been very me-centric since its creation and I'm just about sick of that now. This blog started out being an unconventional method of me extending my trivial frustrations to the rest of the world and I have no reason to do that anymore. So no more rants about random stereotypes, if anything were to come out of that topic it would be a long article about stereotyping happens. That's not to say this is gonna some hippie "meaning of life" vibe to it from now on. Sometimes it probably will, but not always.

From time I might throw in a comment here or there about a project that I'm working on. But the point here is that this blog is no longer about that on a whole. Some of my older posts have been deleted for either exposing to much of my personal info or just serving no purpose whatsoever. I couldn't find it in me to delete a few of the old ones. But they just may go eventually too. I have no idea when I'll update this again.

____________________________________________________
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!

I was surfing the net the other day and stumbled upon a Broadway fansite that had spawned an everlasting argument about whether some roles were race-specific. Specifically, Glinda of Wicked:

And while it makes perfect sense to assume that this character should be played by a white woman because the character has been casted almost exclusively as white women (and in some cases Asians), does this mean that the role is racially exclusive to white women?

I vote "No". I believe this role should be open to women of any race given that they have the talent and ability required to play it. It's been done before (there's been a few cases of understudies or standbys who are black taking over for a night). First of all, the argument that usually is brought up would be "G(a)linda is blonde. We can't re-write the script to erase all references to her defining feature."

Right. Because never...

In the history of forever...

Has there ever...

Been a dark-skinned woman pulling off the blonde look...ever. There are many different shades of blonde in the world. I have a hard time believing none of them could suit a black (or hispanic, or any) woman. Would it take a bit longer for wigmakers to do their job because they'd have to discover the perfect shade for the actress? Yes. But the point here is a black woman can be blonde and since there is no specific mention of what shade of blonde Glinda's hair is, it would be fair to give her any.

Glinda's main claim to fame in the musical is being blonde and aside from that, ambitious and rich. (Not her entire character, mind you, just the memorable bits) Being "ethnic" should not keep someone from being either of those things, and Glinda has never been given a specific race according to the script (Actually, the only characters that have come close are Elphaba- who is green- and Doctor Dillamond- who is a Goat). And while some roles (such as those in Hairspray or The Wiz) are pretty much exclusive to the races they were written for, the ones from Wicked are not.

At least I think so. What do you think? Leave a comment and don't be afraid to disagree.

"I've Got Nothing"

2009-11-09T09:37:00.000-08:00

So, as you may (or probably may not) know, I'm a follower of several UK Tubers. And the big word in UK when it comes to YouTube right now is ChartJackers.

ChartJackers is a project involving a group of very talented and very popular UK YouTubers to help raise funds for BBC's Children In Need. Their aim is to jack the music charts and get their single to number one. (Note: I'm about two months late letting you know about this, but you can still help.) They're little adventure has been followed every week by BBCSwitch.

Their single and music video has been completed with the help of their subscribers. It's a brilliantly cheesey pop song and the video includes clips sent by fellow YouTubers. [Watch Here]
The song is now available on iTunes and iTunes only. Every dollar made from people buying the song will be going to Children In Need. I believe the song is only available in the UK right now, but that's temporary. Personally, I'm addicted to the song and would totally download it for free but my conscience would eat me alive.

If you are in a situation that prevents you from buying the song (like myself), you can still help. You can spread the word in your blog, on Facebook, on your Vlog, etc. Or you can print this flyer and post it around your school/workplace.

As a little bonus, if 3,000 comment on this video they will each do a dare this week. That should be fun to watch.

Just so you know...

2009-09-30T22:37:00.000-07:00

[Warning: Rambling and Ranting are sure to follow]

So I've pretty much gotten used to the idea of being stereotyped no matter where I go.

In Jamaica, I'm the "brown" chick who listens to white people music and avoids dancehall whenever possible.

In America, I'm a black girl who listens to white people music and has way too many white friends.

In the Internet, I'm the Jamaican who likes jerk chicken, ginger beer, calypso music and limbo....wut.

Stereotypes seriously don't bother me as much as they used to. Because I do listen to "white" music and I can't stand dancehall. I love jerk chicken and yes most of my American friends are white (huge surprise, I lived in South Florida...so mostly white Cubans...), but just so you know, ginger beer, calypso and limbo are two of the least accurate stereotypes I've gotten yet.

I hate ginger beer. I can't speak for all Jamaicans here. A lot of people love it. I just hate ginger in general. It's like mint only disgusting.

Calypso? French music brought to Trinidad played mostly at their Carnival celebrations...oh yeah, so Jamaican. The music that we Jamaicans listen to at carnival is called 'Soca'. It's closely related to calypso and also originated in Trinidad...only it's not as annoying...While I'm on that note, I've always noticed that most people who imitate Jamaican accents end up with something that sounds vaguely Trinidadian or Bajan, with the exception of "Futurama"'s Hermes who sounds vaguely African. Goo'jahb.

Limbo is something that most Jamaicans just do not do anymore. It's tired and old. As a matter of fact, the only people in Jamaica who limbo anymore are 6-year-olds who watch more American television than probably necessary and the kind of tourists who spend their time in "Touristville" (aka. Montego Bay and Negril) and never step foot in Kingston where civilazation is. I mean the only reason the hotels put on events like limbo contests and shit is because they think that's what you want to see. It is not an accurate depiction of "real" Jamaica. (Neither is 'Shotta's'. Jamaica isn't always violent.)

If you want semi-accurate stereotypes, please stick with the Rastas, weed and dominoes. It's still wrong but it's closer than freaking calypso. >.>

Double Controversy

2009-07-07T01:02:00.000-07:00

I feel terrible for not writing a post with any real depth for a while now. Most of them just update you on my social/home status...that's what twitter is for. But the truth is, there is not much to talk about.

So I started looking and I found that two movies for 2010 that are dealing with some controversy. Both are something that everyone can dig into, because everyone has something to say when it comes to the touchy subject of race.

The first is the controversial issue of the casting of 'The Last Airbender', an action film based off of a Nickelodeon animated television show named 'Avatar: The Last Airbender'. It's known to be the first of three movies in the 'Avatar' series and uses the storyline of the first season as its inspiration.
Personally, I think making 'Avatar' into a movie is a dumb idea. Apparently, Hollywood has learnt nothing from the reactions of the people to the 'Speed Racer' and 'Dragon Ball' movies. There are quite a few reasons why those movies sucked.

1.- They were based off of Japanese animations and produced in America.
-That's fine for Avatar, I guess, because the animation was created and produced in the US.

2.- The direction and costuming was shit (the first in the case of Speed Racer, both in the case of Dragon Ball).
- Avatar may not have that problem. I love the work of M. Night Shamaylan, who happens to be the director for this movie. And based on pictures and the teaser trailer, I'd say that the costuming shows a lot of promise.

3.- The casting was racist. Simple. The characters were Asian, created by Asian people for Asian people. The protagonists and majority of the casts for both movies were white.
- >.> Same thing here. The fictional world that the characters of Avatar live in is clearly based on Asian culture. The creators have said so themselves. So why is over 95% of the cast white?

Argument against the racism

Several people have arguments for this casting. The link posted above shows nearly argument and then shows just why it's wrong. I'll supply you with a few quotes:

-"But all of the nations are fictional, therefore the characters can be any race.

Yes, but the default physical appearance for all heroes in live-action fantasy worlds should not be Anglo-Saxon, western European facial features and coloring. Fantasy does not equal Caucasian people only.

The characters in The Last Airbender SHOULD be diverse, but they’re not. The casting calls have ensured that both the Water Tribe and the Air Nomads will be white."

-"Didn’t they pick the best actors for the roles?

No, they did not. By writing “Caucasian or any other ethnicity” on the casting sides, the production made their preference for Caucasian actors clear form the beginning.
Normally when ethnicity is left open-ended, casting sides read “Any Ethnicity.”
THE LAST AIRBENDER labeled non-Caucasian kids as ‘Others.’
One of the casting side for extras reads “All Ethnicities”. See the difference?

Hollywood has a history of reserving lead protagonists roles for white actors. According to the research done by the Geena Davis Institute: 85.5% of the characters in G-rated films are white, 4.8% are black, and 9.7% are from “other” ethnicities. No differences emerged by character gender.

This is a powerful statistic that shows just how much Hollywood has insured that children grow up believe Caucasian is the norm, while other races fall into the sidekick, extras or villain categories. The Last Airbender is proving to be no different."

-"Many of the voice actors weren’t Asian or Inuit. If that wasn’t wrong, why is casting white actors in the live-action such a big deal?

You underestimate the power of visual cues. Visually, a cartoon is very different from a live-action movie – the former is less tangible than the latter. A grown woman can be the voice actor for Bart Simpson, because no one sees her. But if The Simpsons was ever made into a live-action movie, they wouldn’t cast the voice actor, they would cast a boy.

See the difference?"

If you want to read further, I suggest taking a look at the website. They have a lot more to say on the subject.

The next movie I want to point out is actually releasing on December 11th of this year, so my previous statement about it being 2 2010 movies is inaccurate, but I can't bother to change that. The movie is titled "The Princess and the Frog". It is produced by Disney and will be the introduction of the first ever African-American Disney Princess, Tiana.

That's right. She's black. And no, that's not the controversy. People are riled up because of a few other things in this movie. The first is this:

Something look a bit off to you? That's because the prince is white. The stills show him quite a bit darker than promotional imagery. Now, many people think that because the princess is black, it would've made sense to introduce a black prince alongside her. The question most people have on their minds is "Was this an attempt at reflecting the great melting pot that has become America, or is it simply a matter of representing- whether consciously or unconsciously- the idea that a relationship between two black people is simply not strong enough to last?" Supposedly, the character is actually from a fictional "Spanish" country and he is being voiced by a Brazilian actor. But, he looks more white than anything else in photos released by Disney. Personally, I'm not making a big issue of it because Disney has made a LOT of changes to this movie because of the amount of controversy surrounding it.

SIUcommunity on the white prince

Why did Disney have to edit their original story? It’s best that I point these things out and either leave them for you to research, or expand on this later.

-The princess was announced with the name 'Maddy' and her occupation was a housemaid.

-The movie was originally titled "The Frog Princess", which also received some bad reviews.

-The main character is a black girl placed in pre-Civil rights New Orleans

-Her features are stereotypically black.

-Disney’s first black Princess is a frog for most of the movie.

From what I can see, Disney has corrected the first two. I don’t really think Tiana looks stereotypically black. Sure, she has big hips and lips. But has anyone taken a good look at Megara or even Esmarelda? True, neither were princesses, but it’s a known fact that Disney perpetuates a specific image of beauty when it comes to women. Does anyone remember what the girls in Lilo and Stitch looked like? I’m just saying, it has nothing to do with her being black.

But it’s like I always say. Decide for yourself whether these movies have intentionally racist imagery.

..My Secret

2009-06-02T21:56:00.000-07:00

Remember that list I posted a good while back? The random list...Yeah, that one. It mentioned that I had a solitary secret that I don't really intend on telling anyone. I don't know why it's a secret. I'm not embarrassed or anything. I just hate getting hassled over crap, right?

Here it goes...(wait for it...)... My real ambition in life is to be a mother. To have a happy family.

Don't get me wrong, I have a list of things I want to do before I die. (Write a book, write/direct a movie, have a highly-rated web show, join a trock band XD) The main thing I want from life is a loving family that I feel I can support full-heartedly without feeling like I don't have the time to spend with them. Kids go through their phases when it comes to careers, but this is something I've always wanted.

So there you have it. I'm out of the baby food aisle (geddit, haha).

(++ "Alternatively" is going through a whole plot makeover, with the help of my best friend/soul sister Aisha)

Moving, Sickness and Updates

2009-05-20T21:32:00.000-07:00

-How is it that in my list of stuff I hate, I forgot to mention moving? Moving from one home to another never stops sucking. I mean, it can be easier or harder depending on how much you like a place. I won't argue that. All I'm saying is it always bites leaving a place behind even if you didn't like it too much to begin with. Yes, I'm moving again. I'll be out of here by the beginning of June. This time around, I didn't go home-hunting with the family. There were two reasons for this. The first was that I simply did want the blood on my hands. The second is that I trust my family to find a home I can be comfortable in.

-If you were wondering how that whole school thing was going, the term ended with a final critique while I was rolling over in my bed with a headache, bad cough and fever. Go me. I was pretty much stuck at home for three weeks and at the end of it all, the doctor tells me (wait for it...) I had the sniffles. >.>Really bad ones too. He says spring brings pollen and dust. Mum says "Tell her to stop sleeping with the cats." So now Tippy and Felix sleep on the couch...most of the time.

-I've signed myself up with Avon, which is pretty rad. I didn't do so well on my first campaign, but that probably had something to do with the fact that I signed in a bit late...I only had one brochure and no business cards. At least I got my name out there, right?

-I have not abandoned "Alternatively"! I know it probably seems like I have because I haven't posted in forever, but it's quite a challenge trying to give a ton of characters different writing styles when you have virtually no formal experience with storytelling. I'll get it right eventually...

(++) Allison didn't win? SO not awesome.

At 4:00...

2009-04-24T01:37:00.000-07:00

Certain people should be asleep. Guess who missed school this week thanks to her brother's stomach virus! Me! Cause I don't really talk about anyone else here...does that make me vain? No, I just don't want my family getting stalked. That's what Facebook is for!

Anyway, I'm bored and have decided to waste your time. It's time for Single Servings!

WARNING: These sites will annoy you and make you want to throw a book at me. Enter at your own risk.

If you clicked on all of those, I have to give you kudos because after the first two I would've stopped.

Q: Why is Nikii awake at 4 in the morning?
A: a) She simply can't sleep.
b) She did a paper and couldn't leave Facebook.
c) She just finished watching Slumdog Millionare with her brother.
d) Her cat bit her face when she tried to sleep.

I'll let you decide. And no, you won't win any rupees.

Edit: You guys do know I have a poll at the bottom, right?

bonk Oh noes!

2009-04-19T00:37:00.000-07:00

I have a problem.
I'm bored with fashion design. I seriously need to stop that. But it's true. I want to write now. or do some more of this:
Isn't it lovely? ....I wonder if saying that makes me big-headed...I hate quickly I become bored with things that I enjoy. Part of me still wants to do toy design. And if someone were to offer me the tools to do a repaint right now, I would. I can't say the same for fashion design. The semester is ending in a few weeks, and I'll stick it out for now. But the question is, will I return?

Things that I have dropped:
-Ballet (age 3-6)
-Soccer/Football (2 months when I was like 9)
-Karate(Actually, I dropped this because I was injured...)
-Music school (*sigh* Maybe I'll go back....)
-The majority of the stories I start (writer's block)
-The baby! Oh dear!
-Practicing vector portraits
-JJT...twice...

It's called YOUTube. Remember that.

2009-04-17T19:32:00.000-07:00

This is serius bizness. You have been warned.

So recently, I've found myself informed of a problem in evolution on YouTube. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who's noticed how strange all of this changing of the website has been.

[Informative video plug]

Yes, I realised that hulu.com now has its own channel on YouTube. I didnt mind because I currently cannot access hulu thanks to my location. I also cannot watch a massive amount of music videos because I live in Jamaica. This is not gangsta.

Now maybe this is just life. Just business. But all in all, I don't think that's okay. I don't think it's okay to hand cash over to a dj so that you can keep the smaller artists down. And I don't think it's okay for Disney to buy out so many peopl's form of free speech. It's enough to make me consider moving my blog to livejournal because Google owns Blogspot as well as YouTube. Maybe it's just in me to revolt against unfair practise, but I'm planning on doing what I can to fight the apparent reality of this. I will boycott YouTube if necessary.

If you don't know me by now...

2009-04-16T15:05:00.000-07:00

I can't stand...
He's just not that pretty. And his voice is annoying. And he rips off awesome artists from the 80's

I have an obsession with...
She's absolutely breath-taking and in every episode, I find myself wishing I knew her personally.

and...
Loved him in "Skins", loved him even more in "Slumdog"

I recently discovered...
Liam and Minh used their song "Geeks in Love" as a theme song for their collaborative channel.

I want...
I didn't get that many birthday girfts year, but Christmas is coming.

(++) Just a quick one to keep you on track.

The Sex Talk?

2009-04-06T21:40:00.000-07:00

I'm putting the linked blog on hold for something I have to get off my chest. I don't know where this is coming from. Maybe my guilty conscience is coming at me after a few years, maybe my mother's being talking to me too much or maybe it's because my 'Skins' addiction has been flaring up. I really can't say. But it seems to me that people don't realise that having sex is like opening a can of worms.
Getting things back into place after your first time isn't easy. Take it from someone who had an unusual and painful experience. And I'm not referring to the sex. I don't even really remember that anymore. I remember it hurt and I tried to convince myself it felt good. That's about it. It was a bad situation overall and there is no sex talk that will prepare you for that. Somebody could have told me my right eye would explode and I would have sacrificed that right eye to make sure "the love of my life" was happy.
But that was a long time ago. And that's not really what I want to talk about. It's the after-effects that count. And I don't know how to describe that feeling. The feeling that something is now missing in you, you're a little bit empty. And as far as you know, sex is the only thing that can substitute the loss of that part of you. Believe me when I say if you're not ready for all of it, then you can't handle any of it. Sex complicates things. One person may cling while the other drifts or both may end up more attached than necessary and in a stable relationship, this can work but it's something that has to be observed carefully.

You may be ready one day but when the very complicated feelings pile on, there is no one who can really pull you through but you. In my opinion, there is no such thing as "uncomplicated sex". Something will always complicate it. Always.

I'm the last person who would go around preaching abstinence to a room to a room full of teenagers. It would make me a hypocrite (I'm not sexually active now, but I have a complicated past) and a liar, because I wouldn't believe what I am standing up there and saying.

"Sex is like Pringles- once you pop, the fun don't stop." Me, joking with my friend (2007-ish?)

And in other news....

2009-03-31T08:18:00.000-07:00

-Bindhi is a Felix! We did a double check and found the truth. Whoopsie!

-I've decided to get a tattoo. Not right now. Sometime in the future. I don't know when. I had a friend design one for me. (He actually has designed quite a few...on my arms...with a Sharpie.) It's a black cat with a stylized 'N' next to it. Quite gorgeous, actually. I'll upload a pic of it sometime...I also want an industrial piercing (Google it)

-To be honest, I started this out wanting to rant. I wanted to rant about how people need to learn to accept others despite their religion. It's one of the few forms of real prejudice still left everywhere. There really is no place in the world safe from it. Not even my house. My family (except my step-person...I don't know what to call him yet....) is Catholic. Less Catholic than we used to be, mind you. But I'm still forced to go to mass every Sunday. Did I mention I was 18? It doesn't matter that I don't believe in Christ (for reasons mentioned in previous entries), I still go. It pisses me off.

-I think I might fo to F.I.T. when I'm done here. I know, "Nicky? In New York? Doing Fashion Design? Noooo" Yes. I hear they do I toy design program. Who knows, maybe I'll be the next Jason Wu.

Teaser: I'm thinking that my next post has to be when I have time because each word/phrase is gonna be linked.

Tippy and The Baby

2009-03-30T06:36:00.000-07:00

I woke up to the sound of very loud yowling this morning. I figured it was Tippy, complaining about the lack of food in his plate.

"Nicky, come and see what Uncle Xavier has here!"

It took a while to figure out what it was. Dripping wet and rather scraggly, the jet black tiny thing had pointy ears and big eyes. A proper look told me it was a kitten, not a puppy. Another kitten! He found her in one of those manhole sewers and washed it clean. After checking, we discovered that she's a girl. We dried her off and fed her, at which point Tippy got very curious. He stuck his face in her plate and ate from her food to prove that it's his home.

He's spent the morning jumping and playing with her even though all she really wants is to sleep. I hide to had her between the cushions on the couch so that she could have some peace. I've named her Bindhi, which I think suits her very well. She's just as small as he was when we found him. About a week (maybe two) old.

A New Age

2009-03-17T05:46:00.000-07:00

Eighteen.

So yesterday, I was thinking of posting a two-part blog of events. "My last Day as a Minor, My first day as a Legal Adult" But to tell the truth 18 doesn't change you. Growth is a learning experience. I'm not magically an adult just because I can legally get away with things I couldn't before.

Anyway, the day's been good so far (It's only 8 am) and hopefully it'll stay that way. I woke up at the following hours because of the following people:

-1:00 am, Zahra (my baby sister): "Happy Birthday Nikii! Like, omg, you're so ooollld"
-2:00 am, Jordan (my boy bestie): This conversation lasted for an hour, and most of it was just chatting.
-6:30 am, Tedi(my bestie): She sent me a text wishing me a Happy Birthday and telling me she hoped the day was Wicked (yea, I got the pun, T)

I tried to sleep for five minutes but was woken up by my step-dad(ish) and my mum(who proceeded to give me an inspirational monologue about how much I've grown).

In checking my Facebook, I found myself bombarded with Happy Birthday messages. And the day's not even over.

So overall, it's been a good morning. I have a feeling it'll only get better.

Admittedly Short Post

2009-02-26T22:18:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to inform everyone that I've started a story through livejournal. It's entirely experimental and may end up not being finished when I turn back to my (not online) series. The working title for the story is "Alternatively" and will follow a teenager's journey as she slowly discovers her alternate personalities.

Please check it out.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (also known as Multiple Personality Disorder) is a real disease that often affects children and teenage victims of abuse.

(++) If anyone has a link to a movie, article, or documentary that will give an interesting first person view of DID/MPD, it would be much appreciated.

Things I Hate

2009-02-24T12:12:00.000-08:00

-That ringing noise you hear when a surge protector is turned on
-Hypocrisy
-People who hurt children
-People who hurt animals
-Misrepresentation of an illness in the media
-Ignorance
-People who intentionally remain ignorant for the sake of proving a point
-Racism
-The fact that organizations like the Klu Klux Klan still exist
-Papaya
-The Dragon Ball Evolution trailer

Talking To My Past

2009-02-03T05:38:00.000-08:00

So littleradge uploaded this video a couple weeks back (that I only just watched) expressing ten things he would tell his younger self if given the chance. Unfortunately, I have no camera. (BOO) So I'm gonna write 'em here. (YAY!)
NOTE: The ten things written here are different from the ten written as a comment on littleradge's video. (I'm writing to 8-year-old Nicky)

1. Start watching old Doctor Who episodes because when the new show starts you will be slightly confused.

2. Stop eating all that junk food crap. In ten years, it will matter.

3. You know those kids who won't really hang out with you too much because you look different and those guys who never seem to get crushes on you because you're darker than them? They're not gonna mean much to you in ten years. Never mind it.

4. You know that money Mum started saving as "spending money"? Do not spend it on a PSP. You're only gonna end up trading that for an iPod which will get stolen. Buy a CAMERA.

5. Forget about "Casper meets Wendy". Hilary Duff is gonna suck after Lizzie McGuire.

6. Boys don't drool. Hang out with them because in a couple years, girls are gonna feel all superior because they think they've started puberty and they don't even realise that you got your period this summer (at 10) and they get all bitchy. Seriously.

7. Don't feel discouraged because your dad isn't around. He does try.

8. You have a knack for drawing and writing. Stick to those because in a few years it'll get really confusing.

9. You know how moving around always gets you really depressed and p'o'd? Get used to it. It still hasn't stopped.

10. Buy more shoes. I promise you won't grow out of them until you're at least 15.

If you liked that feel free to post your own or y'know comment.

Family Additions

2009-01-31T19:02:00.000-08:00

Three main things to talk about now.

1. Grandma is back home. My grandmother has been living with my mum's sister in Florida for the past few months (since about September) and she's been having some financial issue's thanks to America's recession. She decided that because she had so many things to take care of in Jamaica that she should back into the country and get things done. It feels great having her back. My grandmother is the one person in the family that I feel I can go to about my problems 24/7. She's never too busy to lend an ear and a helping hand. I love her so dearly and was having a rough time dealing with my mother when she wasn't around.

2. Today was Uncle Xavier's birthday. (Uncle Xavier is my mum's boyfriend/fiance who we happen to live with) We sat at the dinner table, had an Italian dinner and a half-melted coconut, cream cheese and vanilla cake with strawbrry and whipped cream icing. It was pretty cool.

3. Tippy! Tippy is out new ginger kitten. He's maybe about a month old and is the cutest thing ever. We call him Tippy because he walks on his toes and rather than running, he leaps from one place to another. I'm glad that we adopted him because I work better when I have someone to take care of (besides myself) and those damn fish(es?) are not worth waking up for.

(++) I've also been watching the third season of Skins through YouTube. I'm already in love with Freddie and Emily.

Happy 2009!! And everything that comes with it.

2009-01-06T08:01:00.000-08:00

First let me start out by wishing everyone (ie, the two people who actually read this thing) a Happy New Year!(I know January is half over, so sue me) 2009, woo! I'm gonna be 18 in two months. It feels weird to say. Your whole life as a kid, you sit down wishing you could reach that coveted age and break free with no strings attached. How wrong was I? I'm still going to be living with my mother and her boyfriend (and my brother) and still obeying their rules. I'm still going to have a curfew. I'm still going to rely on them for 85% of ...everything. God, 7 years ago I thought I'd be on my way to Julliard by now. Look at me. I'm barely getting by where I am as it is.

That reminds me, I'm at Art School now. (Still at Edna Manley College) I'm doing a course in Fashion Design, which consists of three classes: Collection Development, Fashion Illustration, Clothing Construction. It's not bad, I love the drawing and collection...I hate the sewing. But I guess I better learn to love it soon. My goal is to pass my classes this year. I want to leave behind some kind of success in my life. I don't want my kids to look back and see me as a deadbeat with no ambition. I mean I may not have a clear vision of my life but, I know I don't wanna waste it.

Speaking of dying-because it's such a happy subject-(how you liking my segues?) I was watching an episode of Scrubs online tonight. Yes, I have to catch up with the new season online, I'm so terrible. Whatever. "My Last Words" I don't know what they'll be, but if it were tonight, I think I'd let my last words be, "I'm doing better."

Funeral Playlist:
-"Leave Out All The Rest", Linkin Park
-"I Will Follow You Into The Dark", Death Cab for Cutie
-"When You're Gone", The Cranberries
-"Turn,Turn,Turn", The Byrds
-"Time After Time", Cyndi Lauper
-"The Prayer", Charlotte Church(with Josh Groban)
-"Hey Jude", The Beatles
-"Only Time", Enya
-"Somewhere Over the Rainbow", Israel Kamakawiwo
-"The Resolution", Jack's Mannequin
-"In The Sun", Joseph Arthur
-"Time To Say Goodbye", Sarah Brightman
-"Everybody Hurts", REM
-"Bohemian Rhapsody", Queen

What would happen if I died tomorrow?

30 Random Things About Me

2008-12-29T19:05:00.000-08:00

So way back when (ie, a couple weeks ago) I got tagged in this chain of "16 random things" on Facebook. I did it, but 16 was not enough. I added more.

1. I never learned to ride a bike.
2. I bite whenever I make out. (Not nip. I full-on attack)
3. I could live on tuna, cup noodles and tomatoes as long as I have salt
4. I knew about Paramore before Riot! came out.
5. I've lied about my age online...because I like to write erotic literature....
6. I can never decide on my favorite song.
7. My real crushes switch almost as quickly as my celeb ones.
8. I have a $500 ball-jointed doll on my wishlist [She's Beautiful]
9. I don't really like people.
10. I once convinced a guy I wasn't interested in him because I'm gay...[I'm not really gay.]
11. I would do it to "Wonder Woman" by Trey Songz.
12. My fave N*Sync member was Chris Kirkpatrick.I
13. The only song by Taylor Swift that I like is "Love Story".
14. I wish I could talk like a pirate without looking like a retard or a**hole.
15. Deep down, I believe in true love.
16. I've never kissed a girl, but I have wanted to. >.<
17. I only really have one secret. That I may never tell (to anyone who doesn't already know)
18. Coke makes me hyperactive.
19. I once dreamed of killing Hilary Duff. Ah, the good old days.
20. Everytime I save up for a camera, I buy something I want less.
21. I want to have a baby. Now.
22. I never had a crush on my teachers.
23. I started watching littlreradge because he looked like "ten", but I don't care about that anymore.
24. They call me Pixi. No, I don't who "they" is.
25. I always wanted an EasyBake oven. I got the PC game instead.
26. My favourite 'Skins' character was Chris (RIP, love)
27. I wanna get it on with Kal Penn. (imdb it)
28. If you haven't guessed, I'm a pervert.
29. My realistic dreams tend to come true.
30. I was Team Edward until New Moon came out.

Next year I will...

2008-12-28T22:31:00.001-08:00

-Be patient with a parent that does sympathise, can't empathise and does everything in her power to help.
-Try to pass some kind of art course no matter how much it takes out of me.
-Tell the guy I like that I like him, the guy that I'm over that I'm over him and the guy that I love that I want to stop missing him.
-Not lock myself in my room like a hermit 80% of the time.
-Finish reading "Catcher in the Rye". I'll have to buy it first though.
-Try not obsess over Kal Penn or Taylor Lautner.
-Not web-stalk littleradge...anymore than necessary.
-Finish writing at least one of the four stories that are stalking my brain.
-Take my medication on time.
-Not purposely get myself impregnated just because I need to be needed and my stepfather-to-be won't let me get a cat.
-Make sure that the Harry Potter Theme Park Roadtrip goes on...as long as the theme park is open by then.
-Watch 'Unborn'.
-Read at least two books by Deepak Chopra.
-Do my best. I mean it this time.

Changing

2008-12-07T21:04:00.001-08:00

You ever wake up one day and realise that you're a lot different from who you used to be? Neither have I. But I did pick up on it last night as I was nodding off. I had just come back from seeing Twilight. Mum and I fought when I got out of the car because I had blocked out her radio program with my constant chatter. I blamed it on excitement, but I think we both knew that it was just me being me.
The question is when did that become me? I look back and I see a quiet kid who only spoke when spoken to because she just never wanted to be part of anything but her own dealings. And to be honest, that is still what I feel I am. But it's not how I behave. Deep down, I'm an INFP (if you don't know what that means, that's what Google is for), an extrovert in no real way. I don't like this me. She's rude, angry, talkative. I want to go back ti being quiet and seething. Crazy in my own silent way. At the least, I'd like to find a middle ground Good luck to me, eh?

October's back!

2008-10-02T15:54:00.000-07:00

My favorite month of the year. Sure, there are days I like more than Halloween, but as a month on a whole, October's got me hooked. Why?The much-needed drama. Every year, October seems to deliver it in multitudes. And the subject this year is *drumroll* "Fright Fest is BACK?!?!?!" I'm not usually one to gossip [for those in doubt, everything I say, I'll say in person. A true gossip talks behind one's back.] , but this is something I need to share.

Players in the Drama:
The Delinkuentz [Main stars (in code): Redd and $$]
The No-names of Silent Scream
Party goers

It goes a little somethin' like:
The Delinkuentz all turned against $$ one day. No matter how many sides we find in the story, that much is true. They saw her as a liar and a back-stabber, she still holds to the claim of a misunderstanding. But either way, she was kicked out. But, let's face it, $$ wasn't the only one doing the stabbing (I'm not going any further with that, the rest is conjecture). Thanks to the coming of huge exams this year, the Delinkuentz decide they'll put of Fright Fest (this is to be the third annual) until October 2009. And the no-names jump. I'd like to go on record saying I don't think Silent Scream could have gotten very far without the promotion of Timmy and Redd. Yes, Redd. I hear she left the Delinkuentz. No surprise. She was one of a handful who still spoke to $$.

The competition begins!
They've left it in the hands of attendants. And I wouldn't be surprised if more people went to Silent Scream while cooler people showed up at Fright fest. Why? Because FF is an invi-only event. Everyone must attend in costume, must hae invitations and must be connected to the D'z in some way. (ie, Show up with someone else's invi, and they'll know.) The drinks [and party] are free, the venue's bound to be better and they always know how to make the crowd move. Good luck to Silent Scream, and thank GOD Fright Fest is Back.

Religious Overtones [WARNING: Contraversy Ahead]

2008-09-27T15:37:00.000-07:00

I am a bit tired of facing overtones of Christianity everytime I open my Facebook inbox. I am not a Christian. I am not part of a any religion. I have been 'born again' before, but reading the Bible makes everything a bit fishy for me. It would be all well and good, accept Christ and you'll never die. But the religion itself is so askew. Why is it that Christians, the Children of Peace are so full of hate and intolerance? Why do so many of them feel they are any better than other sinners despite the fact that they are taught to be humble? The Pope keeps an upside-down cross on his "throne".The leader of a country that calls itself the most powerful announced what people have acknowledged as The Mark. And yet, he is known to be Christian. (The date was 6/6/06, btw)

To the Christians:
Did you know?

-Both Lucifer and Jesus were referred to as the morning star. [Isaiah 14:12, Revelations 22:16]
-Jesus claimed he did not come to bring peace, but a sword. [Matthew 10:34-36]
-The Bible shows two creations in Genesis. The first by God on the sixth day (man and female together, equals) [Genesis 1:26] The second on the Sabbath by the "LORD" (man first then Eve from Adam.)[Genesis 2]
-Cain asked the LORD to mark him lest he be found and killed after being exiled from his family (is Adam and Eve were the first humans, who was he afraid of?) [Genesis 4:15]
-Cain's wife was a descendant of God's people. Not Eve and not his sister. (He was far from them at this point in time)
- In the Bible, the words LORD and Satan are at times inter-changable. [2 Sam 24:1, 1 Chron 21:1]
-God and the LORD gave Noah separate instructions in packing the ark. [Genesis 6:19-22, Genesis 7: 1-7]
-The Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit is not written literally anywhere in the Bible. It is a man-made concept meant to keep followers in the dark.
-In the oldest English copies of the Bible, God and the LORD are written as two separate entities and in the New Testament, heaven is never capitalised.
-We all know the Mark of the Beast appears on foreheads and right hands. [Rev 13:16] In the prophecy of Revelations, Jesus and the 144,000 behind him carry The Mark of His Father on their heads. [14:1] (This is stated almost sub-sequentially, following the description of the Mark)

Rumors:
-The 13 bloodlines of the Illuminati came from Jesus. They are the 144,000 that will be with him on the last day.

Think about that for a while and then tell me to save myself in Christ. Please respect the fact that I do not believe in following a religion. I honestly don't think God cares what culture we were raised in. If God is truly as fair and just as they all say.
FIGHT THE NWO!

A few opinions I have:

2008-09-17T21:30:00.001-07:00

I promised myself when I started this blog that I would try to break the stereotypes people held over Jamaicans. Well, truth be told, I'm not the average Jamaican. There's no such thing. You have the uptown people, the ghetto youths, the country people and those who are so uptown that they rarely are referred to so often that they'd actually have a broad label. (21 families might suffice.) All I can do is be me, and hope that no one assumes that I'm a genius because Jamaicans could never think the way I do. (If you have another reason for thinking that, though, it's all good.)

So here's what I think about a few random things.

Politics: I don't think about politics. I'm an anarchist at heart, being the kind of person I am. Everyone has a right to make their own choices without the fear of being punished by another human being. So, I don't really think about politics. But, I do think about things that can affect politics.

Religion: Huh, I don't really believe in this either. I believe in being spiritual and peaceful. Mohammed, Buddha, Jesus, Ghandi, Abraham, they all had the same message to spread. It was about respect, love, tolerance and patience. Peace. So why is it that in so many religions (and sectors of religion) in so many countries across the Earth, people are being taught that another religion is "evil" or "wrong"? They all have the same thing to say, they just speak a different language. My God is no different than the Judao-Christian God, or Allah, or Brahman or any other religion's god(s), people only call them by a different name and choose to seperate them according to their duty in life.

Sex: Yes, please! I'm joking. Truth be told, I'm a bit old-fashioned when it comes to sex. In most cases, I would probably say "Do it with the one you love." But in this day and age, those who save it are few and far between. So here's my policy: If anything were to go wrong and I were to get pregnant, I want a father in my child's life. I'm not going abort that small but real life inside me. So I will not have sex with someone that I cannot trust to support my child emotionally, if nothing else. And god forbid, he gives me a disease. I want him to be someone I can take to the doctor and get tested with before going unsafe (if we chose to be one-on-one). In short, if not the one you love, do it with the one you trust.

Conspiracy Theories: Are probably usually right. I'm not even joking. Is it so inconceivable that those in charge would hide important and disturbing information from the public? Must of us have parents who do it. They don't want to let us know the extent to which things have gone wrong because it will frighten us. Imagine that panic times, I dunno, 10 billion? Yea I'd keep shit secret too.

2012 is The End: I think there are a lot of reasons why it could be. Between Biblical and Mayan prophecies and science itself, factor in conspiracies that include jumprooms and crop circles, why the hell not? Because I'm too stubborn to believe that it could happen in my lifetime? Uh-uh. I'm not atheist. My mind (soul, spirit, etc.) will move on after I pass. So I'm not afraid of the end, because I know it won't really be.

A paraphrase from 'Contact':
If one city in one country on one planet in one solar system in every galaxy had a small population, that would still be millions of people. If they didn't, well that would be an awful waste of space.

Finally something to say...

2008-09-17T21:30:00.000-07:00

So I've been coming online for days now trying to come up with something to blog about (as it turned out, my life is way more boring than I thought. And that's saying something). I've finally found my subject. Ever notice how people never really seem to offer up want you want until the moment you don't want it so much anymore? That just happened to me this week. I have a job now. It's not really work though. I get paid $3000 (roughly US$43) a week to help these two girls with their homework every day.
Now, everyone who knows me knows that I love kids and that I'm great at babysitting, but keeping them focussed enough to sit down and do homework for an hour or two? I have found the drawback here. But between rehersal's for this year's big musical, practicing my sight-singing and feeding my Facebook pet I really have nothing to do with my time... so I figured, what the hell? It's worth the cash, I got the time and I get to hang out with two adorable younger girls.

And in other news! There's a Halloween party coming up next month- any friends who are reading know I'm talking about Silent Scream- and I am so loving the idea of arriving as none other than Dr. Martha Jones of the Doctor Who and U.N.I.T. fame. (She's my fave companion...next to Tegan) For those of you who don't watch her and don't know the full extent of her costuminess:
Gotta love 'er. Some people are saying that her costume doesn't look like a costume at all. Well, duh, it's not supposed to. But alongside the Doctor, [click it] someone's bound to get it. If not, there's always the all black thing she had going in "Last of the Time Lords" and again in "Journey's End". [linkety-link-link]
The upside to the black deal is the fact that when someone decides to pose the question "What have you come as?", instead of responding "Martha Jones, and he's the Doctor.", I can say "I'm Dr. Martha Jones of UNIT, who the hell are you?". Makes the cosplay just a bit more kickass, no? Black jackets are a hell of a lot easier to find than maroon or red leather too. Gawd, if feels awesome knowing that I'd be able to afford one. Oh, and the backup backup? Lauren Cooper.

And now I'll leave you with:

"Amest I bovver-ed?"

Two Parts: Jamaica Land We Love

2008-09-11T17:11:00.000-07:00

RANTING

I take YouTube seriously. But I don't have a proper camera right now. And all the ideas that my friends and I had about all sorts of cool videos that show Jamaica in a better light have been put on hold. For once, I'm not even thinking of shallow YouTube fame. There are millions of vloggers and comedians on YT that never get noticed. So it's not about that. I'm just so very tired of seeing the negative light that is shining over Jamaica all over the media. YouTube is filled with idiotic high school boys who, though they may be bright, tend to act like well...boys. They post retarded videos of them pretending to fight one another, "hitting" each other with chairs, cussing and throwing things. All the while, they wear their uniforms. It LOOKS BAD.

Let me say something to all those who watch these videos and having never been to, lived in, or been educated in Jamaica, don't know the intellectual capacity of the average Jamaican: It's rather simple. Most Jamaicans are bright. And capable of so much more than childish behaviour and play fighting. You see those boys who are throwing chairs at each other? Most of them are probably going to get extremely high marks on an examination that most Americans couldn't pass without college-level preparation before they turn 18. Most of them have the ability to gain an edge over you in the working world because American employers know that Jamaican schools push their students. We don't excel because we have a backbone and spoon-feeder in our teachers. We excel because the majority of them don't do shit. And we have to rely on ourselves to get into Ivy League colleges. You call these people ignorant, poor and ugly. Potheads, rastas, ghetto yutes, etc. It doesn't matter. We push even harder.

And to all Jamaicans who have lost your self-respect and somehow feel that this is the necessary way to get attention: STOP IT! Bugger off. STFU! Because you make us look bad. Jamaica itself gives so much way for comedy and art and eediat pickney wah step up and call demself star cau' dem tro a bokkle affa anedda yute. Dat mek sense? Stooooop. Gawd.

JAMteenz [that's the name my peeps and I came up with] was formed to help give Jamaican teens a chance to express themselves without being completely foolish. It's about comedy, art, dance and politics. And its coming whenever we get a camera....
_________________________________________________________________
CUZ MI a JAMAICAN!!

[Based off of the "Cause I am..." series on YouTube.]
Any recreation or publication of this blog must be requested by the publisher to the creator,Nikii G(c), or I swear I will hunt you down. Blogspot has a date stamp. It should also be noted that this was written for the sake of satire. I have nothing against Jamaicans, black people, rastafarians, white people, teenage mothers or Bob Marley's libido. Thank You.

So there've been a lot of stereotypes about Jamaicans running around and I just want to make sure you've got them all perfect.

I know all of Bob Marley's illegitimate children.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I live in a house made of zinc.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I got pregnant five times before I turned twelve.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I cannot speak proper English.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

"Ah tauk laik dis oll di taim, mon"
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I'm black.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I'm rastafarian.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I own a donkey
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I can beat an Olympic world record without even trying.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

I've never seen a white person before.
-Cuz mi a Jamaican.

Dissapointments, New Beginnings

2008-09-10T21:45:00.000-07:00

Ok. Let me officially introduce myself, because this is my first (and hopefully not last) entry. My name is Nikii (Nicky). I'm all over the net and I'm 17. Yes, I've lied about my age online. Yes, I've made up names. No, you can't trust that I am who I say I am...or can you? Decide that for yourself.
I'm going to introduce myself RP style so I can avoid being questioned.

YOU CAN START SKIPPING NOW
___________________________________________________________________
Name: Nikii G (I may tell you all my real name eventually)
Age: 17 (and counting)
DOB: March 17, 1991

Appearance:-
Skin: Light Brown
Height/Weight: 5'1"/114lbs
Hair: Dark brown/black
Eyes: Dark brown
Other: I have biggish eyes, thick eyebrows and full lips that get red when the weather is hot. I'm of many descents and therefore have a face that is often difficult to stereotype. It could be said to be Native American/African or Indian/African White/Indian, etc. The truth is I'm Jamaican, and therefore no race suits me. I'm mixed. That being said:

Ethnicity: Caucasian, African, East Indian, Native American, Pacific Islander, Asian

Nationality: I'm an American by birth, but I also have the birthright of being called a Jamaican citizen (thank you Mum and Dad). Jamericans to di werl!

Personality: I honest most of the time and have a distinct dislike towards hypocrites, republicans and people who lol or 1337 speak in an important discussion. I can actually be a pretty fun-loving person and I'm often said to be random. Most of my friends think I'm crazy which is okay, because they are too.

Psychological Disorder: clinical depression (possibly bi-polar)
_________________________________________________________________
STOP SKIPPING

Now, with all that said and done, the fun really begins. This blog catches me at a funny point in my life. (I actually joined to stalk a David Tennant look-alike named Liam, but I can do that later) My great-grandmother died this Sunday. The day before I officially started college. It feels odd. I've never experienced the death of someone I really knew and loved before and well, it's taken by surprise. But I've been warned by the 'rents time and time again that life moves on time and time again. Not that I haven't tried to stop the clock. I just found it futile eventually because life had too much to it.

The question has been asked by my high school friends, "What is college like?" (for the record, most of them are in sixth form -Americans, that's like pre-college- and have no idea what to expect.) I don't really know how to answer that. See, I'm attending Edna Manley College for the Visual and Performing Arts- School of Music. (mouthful much?) I have been placed in a Preliminary Qualifying program and therefore, have pretty much 2 hours of school a day. So what's college like? It's like doing the stuff my mum used to teach me on the weekends in class and not having to deal with shitty math teachers along the way. There you go. I still have work to do. Mainly practicing keyboard skills and my primary instrument (voice), plus I have weekly homework in music theory (are you lot bored yet?). So college- I like it. End of story. Moving right along....

I didn't intend to go to college this year. I wanted this year off. I wanted to work at the local electronics and gaming store, spending my cash on clothes, games and stuff to help me make a life-size TARDIS (j/k). That didn't suit my mother very well. My mum (god bless her) is a bit paranoid and very very overprotective. It takes a lot of convincing to get her to change her mind. And now I have no pocket cash. Which, in all fairness, can actually be blamed on CashPlus and stinkin' tief Careless and Wutless. whatever whatever whatever.

This is simply an intro to my life and I think I've ranted enough for the time being. Until next time,

"Oh it's you! You're my favourite, you are! You know why? Cos you're so... thick! You're Mr Thick-Thick-Thickity-Thick Face from Thicktown, Thickania! And so's your dad!"- The Tenth Doctor